photo by: Joshua Earle

How to commit to *YOUR* path

Disclaimer: This is a Commitment Contract to myself.

Hey, Guys!
As a way to fully commit to the path that I am on, I am making a commitment contract to myself. As Seth Godin says, I am hitting my Jeopardy buzzer. No longer will I be able to go back. I am now forced to speak up and share my story with the world. No going back, now

I, Ben Foley, am a MAN who struggles with anxiety and darkness. I have for the last two years of my life. It has been the hardest thing I have ever had to go through in my life.

Although, I am sure that others have suffered far worse tragedies and suffering than I have, I believe that pain should be viewed in the context of a single individual, not as a gross generality. I think that, like steam, suffering will fill up the room no matter the size.

I am out of the weeds, but I still struggle on a daily basis to cage my monkey mind and keep myself on the right path.

I thought that I needed to bottle up my emotions and darkness, in fear of looking like a pussy to my friends and business colleagues. A man’s biggest fear. Or at least mine at the time. So, instead of opening up and leaning into my suffering, I drank to ease the pain…

….which only perpetuated the cycle of insecurity and anxiety. I was helpless. I thought that I was the only man that struggled with these issues. The world would be better off if I just kept my mouth shut.

“Just go with the flow, Ben. No one cares about your b*tiching.”

Once I started to take back control of my life and do the deep work to get better, I began to realize that a lot of men were suffering from the same thing.

However, most choose only to speak about it behind closed doors or in a hushed conversation over a couple of drinks. But as I dug deeper, I began to gain insight into the pain and struggle that was all around me, specifically in the startup and finance industries.

The biggest problem of all was that most men masked this suffering by labeling it as STRESS. A badge of honor for an ambitious man. Of course, I am stressed. I am hustling to make a name for myself; they would explain as they took another drink or a QB sneak.

I soon realized that it was not just me who struggled with anxiety and depression. Men everywhere are suffering (note: I view suffering as any negative emotion that prevents you from being fully alive) from similar feelings. They are dealing with the same emotions that I was, but no one seemed to talk seriously about it. Sure, some would talk casually about being anxious for an interview or for an investor pitch. But no one ever discussed the raw pain. The deep darkness that kept us up at night and kept us from being who we truly wanted to be.

My Commitment

‘Et lux in tenebris Lucet et Tenebrae eam non conprehenderunt’ — And the light shineth in the darkness, and the darkness could not comprehend it.

My commitment is that I will no longer shy away from the tough discussions. I will step into the darkness. I will tell my story in the hopes that it will help others. I will help men build businesses that matter and lives that are full of beauty and excitement.

We need more consciousness in the marketplace…

And that is my path. There is no going back now. In reality, there was never really was another option.

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